On Death

One night this past week, my mom, my husband and I were sitting in my living room, talking about death.  I said that one of the things that bothers me so much about getting older is the fact that death becomes so much more real – probably because as I get older, the people I know get older and pass away.  All of my grandparents are already gone, and I was really sad at their funerals.  However, I was not prepared at all for the way the passing of my brother, Jeff, affected me.  Jeff was only 32 years old when he died, unexpectedly.  He had a brain aneurysm that suddenly burst.  We were living in Nashville at the time, and I have to tell you, that 12 hour drive home seemed to last forever.  I begged my sister in law to just please keep Jeff alive (he was on life support) until I could get to him.  She did, but when I walked into that hospital room and saw him lying there, I was taken back.  His body was there, but he wasn’t.  The day we buried Jeff was the saddest day of my life.  That was 15 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him.  As I sat in the funeral service, I kept thinking of I Thessalonians 4:13:

But we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve like other people who have no hope.

I had heard this verse in church most of my life, but it didn’t take on real meaning until that day.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen others pass on to be with the Lord, and I’ve watched as many of my loved ones have had a close brush with death.  My father in law passed away last year, my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma, and now my brother in law has been diagnosed with a rare cancer.  We are getting older, and death is part of the natural cycle of life.  As my mom, my husband and I talked the other night about it, this verse came to mind again.               

                “…so that you may not grieve like other people who have no hope.”

What a comfort that is! We have the hope, and the promise, that we will see our loved ones again.  This morning on the way to work, I heard Jeremy Camp sing a song on the radio, and the chorus goes like this:

There will be a day, with no more tears
No more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day, when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face.

As I listened to this song, I thought about my conversation this week, I thought about Jeff, and my heart was filled with gratitude, knowing that one day, I will be reunited with those I love who were lucky enough to have gone to heaven before me.  Below is a picture taken many, many years ago of my brothers and me - Jeff is the one standing up in the back.

Jeff, save me a seat right beside you – after I talk to Jesus, you and I have a lot of catching up to do!

Here's the video of "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp